oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
