She is in my trunk
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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