i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize