Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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