We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
