You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
