What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
