You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
