singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
