i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
