2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
