I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
