I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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