I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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