office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
