i barfeds in our rink
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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