i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
