So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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