Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
