Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
