I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
