yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
pray to the hookup gods
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
