yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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