I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize