Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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