idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
