Can i not drive my cunt home
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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