At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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