I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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