You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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