It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
