Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
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Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
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He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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