i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
