it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We have so much sex to catch up on
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
