Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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