She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Come see our sink grown plant.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
