I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
