What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Randomize
