you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
