happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
