You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
