your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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