If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
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you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
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Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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