Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
