Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
