We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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