My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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