he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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