I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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