I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
