using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Randomize
