Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
