My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize