She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
