Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
