Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just blew my weed a kiss
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
