I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
