if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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